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Standard Disclaimer

All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with eyes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Call toll free number before digging. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking. Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not place near flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line____. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. Falling rock. For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. This is not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. One size fits all. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Some assembly required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Subject to FCC approval. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my rabbit. This disclaimer was stolen from Manny McCray (litlchupis@aol.com), who can't remember from whom he stole it. This is not an offer to sell securities. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated are. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. You need not be present to win. No minimum to buy. Cancel anytime. And Have A Nice Day.